So i’ve hopped on the bandwagon and have decided to blog my heart out here… i usually have moments of absolute clarity about every 2.2 seconds so why not share my thoughts? I know among my friends they enjoy my randomness so why not share with the world.  So let’s just hop right into it…

I will start by saying I am 22 (almost 23) years young and am probably the most confused as to why men are the way they are. They say women are bad? Oh no, no, no… I’ll be honest, i am not by far a size 2 5′2″ model- i’m 5′8″ with a curvacious figure that is by far not conventional but i’ve always been told wherever i’ve gone or met people that i was beautiful. I know not many people look at themselves and see that, and i’m not including myself by far in that catagory, but i am proud of myself as an overall person.

I don’t think many people understand what it is like to grow up being curvy, “big boned”, overweight, “outside the box”… But, it is by far not an easy task. I felt like i needed to justify why i was the size i was; how upsetting it was going through puberty feeling like you didn’t match up to other girls. It’s hard… But, as with anything- the older you get the wiser. Even though i’m not 40 years old with much experience under my belt, i’ve had many life changing moments that have allowed me to realize i am a better person and i deserve the most I can get out of life. So that is the point in my life i’m at, i know things are the way they are due to the choices i’ve made and i can honestly say i am proud of everything i’ve done so far in my life. I always looked at life at “never do anything that you wouldn’t be proud to put on a billboard” and i’ve stayed true. I feel great, and extremely happy with where i’m at in my life and the open doors of possibility out there.

So back to my original topic, i apologize for my tangents that’s just how i do, but men. Not saying i’ve had a lack of them but i cannot seem to get myself involved because they are too complex and usually i see right through it. (i.e any bullshit) I am the type of girl who just lays my life out on the table and i think i’m all about “what you see is what you get” yet why can’t i find a man who has the same outlook? I thought girls were usually the uptight ones?

I was joking the other day with one of my good friends that i’m sick of all these older couples, young women and random guys telling me i’m pretty but yet i can’t find a “relationship” material man to tell me this? I proceeded to say “i know i’m comfortable in my own skin, and i’m embracing my curvatures… i actually think men should be thanking me!” at this point my friend is wondering where my crazy thought process is to which i retort “most men find their girlfriend and imagine settling down and starting a family but they have NO idea what they are going to look like with that extra weight, whereas i can ALWAYS lose the weight but i’m offering them a glimpse at what i’d look like pregnant and many people tell me i look great” I don’t think i’ve ever heard anything as i did at that moment, as my friend cracked up laughing.

 So this is the starting point for my writing, i will be sure to continue in the future with more posts but as for now this will have to due for some insight into my random world.

-AngeLLa