So here is the backstory, my Best Friend of 5 or 6 years had befriended a co-worker. She was very nice, and we all started hanging out… to make a long story short she didn’t like a mutual friend of ours because she claimed she gave her this “look” and basically had it out for her. She then felt that the rest of us had a problem with them being close friends and we were jealous? Besides that, it was made clear to her that we had liked her up until the point she had made comments on our mutual friend and that is was disrespectful to make comments that were unjust and then to further talk about each of us behind our backs. Well this ultimately led to some stupid dispute that ended the friendship between my best friend and i. TO me, it wasn’t a loss in a full sense because the past months before that were so stressful, with constant fighting that i felt for once i was drama free and could actually relax and have fun with my girls. My friends (a group of 6) have known eachother for years upon years, so of course one incident like that obviously went through all of us and the good part was we had eachother. We felt betrayed because we thought we knew this person and we thought the friend was cool as hell and wanted to add to our group to hang- we had already been on mini roadtrips, parties ect and had fun.

It’s been a year and half and there’s been one correspondance between my ex- best and myself. I had asked for tapes to make into DVD’s from our Senior Week trip. To me, it’s still been hard just because many memories were there with this person and a few other girls felt the same- as well as thinking how many good times we had and how we thought she was such a good person. Needless to say, i received an email from her, wishing me well and that she had seen me somewhere in passing. To me it was a nice and very unexpected gesture- to me i wasn’t planning to hear from her ever again. It does make me wonder because to completely push me out of her life, and now try to talk to me out of the middle of nowhere makes me weary if i’m going to be used or if something else is wrong and i’m thought of now since things have gone sour. I never wished ill on this person, and actually always wished the best for her… i’m feeling conflicted how i’ll handle things if i actually get a response email. My head says i hope i don’t get one, so old wounds can heal but my heart says to forgive and just allow her back in good graces. If anything through it all- i still consider her to be a friend, even though we don’t see nor contact eachother and that’s just because deep down i know she is a good person, and i wouldn’t have been friends with her (best friends) if she wasn’t.

So this is my post to confusion and confliction… it couldn’t have happened at a worst time too as i am already at a crossroads as to what to do with my life. I am in severe transition mode because i’m going to greece in 2 weeks for my first trip abroad with family, my mother’s impending heart surgery Aug 20th, my decision to get into HACC to start college courses (after being out of school for 5 years) and deciding whether to move out or not and if i do having it be done by August 10th.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated…

Much love,

Ang