Family is the number one priority in my life, and has definitely been a staple value my parents have instilled in me. My immediate family (sisters, parents and grandparets) are amazing beyond belief… i also have phenominal relatives of aunts, uncles and cousins. But, i’ve had so much un-necessary strife and grief caused by family as well that sometimes I am just beyond myself with “do i move past the incidents for the sake of ‘family’ or do i stand up for beliefs irregardless of relation?”

On my father’s side, i have an uncle (dad’s brother)/aunt and 2 cousins…2 aunts (both dad’s sisters)/uncles and 1 cousin each. I was the youngest of the children born so i knew right from the get-go i would always be “the baby”. Through numerous incidents, i made the decision at 14 to detach from that side of the family. I was tiredof being spoken to as i lacked intelligence or made to seem i was not ever in my lifetime going to be good enough and live up to “their standards” It hurt me making this decision as well as breaking it to my father that I didn’t want to attend functions and be around it. When my middle sister got married in 2002, an unthinkable event caused my father to see the malicious ways of his own sisters to force him to cut ties with them. It has now been 6 years, no contact and moving through life now as virtual strangers… it was such a shame and a blow to me because i went through all of my milestone teenage moments with no family representing my father’s side. *Half of who I am* Yes, I took things the hardest as everyone else was grown and moving on with their lives but for a 14 year old to deal with such emotion and to make such a decision it still makes me feel like i could get through anything life throws at me. I feel sorry that they were not involved in my life… I would hope in the future they learn from their ways and wish to return back in our lives as how family should. But, at this point in time I am not holding my breath and thankful my parents and siblings and I are as close as we are — it fills the void.

My mother’s side is beyond a melting pot. 8 children, each an individual and chose such different paths. I will admit being closer to others only due to involvement in our lives and being present and available. We had a family reunion many many years ago and I remember it being the greatest of all times, but then everyone went back to their lives and many years passed with little correspondance and a visit yearly. It wasn’t until my aunt died from Cancer that everyone grew together and realized we needed more time together. 2007 was the official beginning of a yearly tradition of getting together for a family reunion over the 4th of July week. It was then I saw my Uncle Ronnie in what seems to be 14 years… i met my uncle ronnie’s daughter (one of 3 cousins) and her son and thought it was great seeing all my aunts and uncles and some cousins under one roof. Long story short a few months later, my parents took in that cousin and her son in our home to help make a better life. IN the long run she brought both her sisters’ up for the same reason but they were so beyond help (you have to want it to make it work) that it only cause stress on my mother. They are all back down in NC, but my “Aunt” (and i use this term loosely) keeps contact with my mother to this day but i think it’s all a tactic. It’s a shame i think this way,but after the bullshit i grew up with one side of the family i know the tricks now. Their whole family tells nothing but sad sob stories on one another and how each of them have it so hard and all of these horrible instances occur and accuse eachother of things- but then each of them individually try to redeem themselves to my mom all for more handouts. The stress this puts on my mother is beyond belief and now with impending heart surgery i get more and more aggravated in hearing this woman has my mother on the phone from 8-11pm talking about how she can’t control her kids and they’ve all reverted back to stealing, cheating, lying-you name it they do it.  We don’t need this in our life, and i’m getting to a point where it’s not going to last much longer. With living at home, I as exposed to it all since they lived there for a few months. I took them to lunch, drove them places until they had a car, tried to help them fit in and do what “family does” but then it comes out that everything told to me was a LIE is when i want nothing more from them.

So that is some background on me and my crazy extended family… i really could write a novel on all the stories associated but we’ll save that for future posts.